I’m going to let you all in on a secret: I’m a snorer. It’s not something I’m proud of and it’s definitely something I wish I didn’t do, but it is what it is. I snore.
The BJJ Cavewife has told me that I snored before and I always nodded politely… but since it wasn’t something I could really observe myself, I didn’t really believe her.
There were times when I was just about to fall asleep and she would push my shoulder telling me that I was snoring. In my mind I was still awake and wasn’t making a peep, so I would just turn away politely if not a little grumpily, and go back to sleep… still not believing her.
Then I learned there were apps that can track your snoring. Ah, here was my chance to prove the BJJ Cavewife WRONG! Objective evidence that I slept quiet as a mouse and SHE was having auditory hallucinations of someone snoring next to her.
I went with Snorelab because it could even record samples of my snores. This is what the first night looked like:
You see the rhythmic pulsating line at the bottom? That’s me snoring. The BJJ Cavewife was right all along… I promptly ate myself a slice of humble pie.
Since I didn’t opt for the premium version of the app, I can’t export the sound bite for you, otherwise you would know just what a patient and understanding woman The BJJ Cavewife is for sleeping next to such a cacophonous sound every evening.
Luckily for me, she signed on the dotted line to stay with me “in sickness and in health…” and I maintain that snoring counts as sickness!
It was around this time that I also heard a Ben Greenfield podcast where he talks about the Rhinomed Mute Nasal Dilator. He mainly brought up the performance applications of this device since what it does is open up the nasal passages to allow more airflow in. Supposedly it does wonders for runners. He made an offhand remark about how it may help with snoring and that’s when I stopped everything I was doing and jumped onto Amazon.
The reviews were decent, so I figured why not, $14.95 is a small price to pay for a potential solution to a problem the BJJ Cavewife’s been dealing with all these years.
The Mute comes in 3 different sizes: small, medium, and large, all of which come in packages of three ($27.95 per package). They also offer a trial pack containing one of each size, which is what I went with.
Like Goldilocks, I tried on the small first… too small, then the large… too big… and then the medium… just right. You just pinch the two ends together, and press both sides up into your nostrils until it goes in as far as it can.
I noticed right away that it was easier to breathe through my nose. My hopes rose. Optimism flowed through my veins. This was the solution at long last.
I was excited to go to bed that night. I set up Snorelab, explained to the BJJ Cavewife how the alien device in my nostrils was going to finally give her a good nights sleep, and drifted away.
When morning came, I woke to find the Mute on the ground next to me. I checked Snorelab and saw the familiar undulations of my snoring. When the BJJ Cavewife woke, she confirmed that I still snored.
The following evening I adjusted the tabs on the ends of the Mute (the parts that go in my nostrils), and the result was the same the next morning. Mute on the ground. More snoring.
I tried one more time and I actually remember semi-consciously ripping the Mute out of my nose in the middle of the night and tossing it away because it was so uncomfortable.
What a disappointment. I really wanted this to work. To double check, I tried on the small again… still too small. And the large? Still too big.
All three of them are now in the trash.
Currently the solution the BJJ Cavewife and I settled on is to run our Honeywell air purifier on all night. It generates just enough white noise to drown out my snoring on most of the time while simultaneously removing allergens! That’s a pretty good two-fer.
Final verdict for the Rhinomed Mute: